Ruth is a (drunk) coolster

I read my mom's friend Ruth's latest blog post, and I just have to comment:

Seriously, go you. I didn't think you could last this long without doing a load of laundry or make a box of KD. Just for the record neither does my mom. But she would never say it to your face. :)

I think I'm going to follow your awesome example. I really need to go on strike from my parents. They're all such fugly wenches. Actually. Who grounds someone for three and a half weeks? Legit, pick between three and four. Preferably three. But in any case, none of this "half" shit. kthx. And I also need to go on strike from Jason and Freddy, just because they are so fucking retarded. WHO THROWS EGGS AT SOMEONE'S WINDOW TO WAKE THEM UP? EGGS? SERIOUSLY?

My life is going nowhere at this point (or at least, nowhere interesting). Pretty sure I'm going to go berserk soon and steal some of Freddy's LSD - which he gives to children behind the Esso - and go all apeshit, just like you, Ruth. Then they'll have to make their own effing Demon Squares. HAH. Except theirs will turn out all gross and stick-tasting because asswenches don't make good cooks. Ever.

Ruth, thank you for inspiring me. Just for that, I may spare you if ever I decide to go on a big old bloody rampage. :)