I'm a proud Mama!!!!!

Today, I found this in Michael's room while I observed Hannibal cleaning it. Apparently, it's his project for cooking class (!). From what I can see, my son is going to be the next Gordon Ramsay!!! I thought I would share it with you, since it's so rare that we get a first-hand look into our children's creativity and imaginative power. You can even try baking it if you want to! I'm going to ask him to bake me some just as soon as he and Jason return from Wal-Mart.


Bloody Demon Squares
A recipe by Michael Myers
For Cooking & Nutrition 101

Ingredients

Firstly, you will need to gather the following demonic ingredients:

1 cup of crushed peanuts
1 1/2 cup of powdered milk
3 eggs
About ten-ish strawberries
1 cup of sugar
1 tbsp of butter
1 tsp vanilla
2 tbsp veggie oil
4 cups of flour
2 tbsp of that powdered chocolate stuff (note from Gertie: cocoa, honey)

Instructions:

1. Take a bowl.
2. Throw the sugar, the butter and the milk into the bowl, then mix it. Don't be afraid to stir. Stir it like it scorned you!

3. Take your three eggs and viciously brutalize them on the countertop until they crack. Once they have cracked, you just rip them open like an eviscerated cow and drop their contents into the bowl. Take that whisk of yours and slaughter the eggs until they have created a perfect mixture with the rest of the mass.

4. Twist the neck of that bottle of vegetable oil until it snaps open and you may pour some of the stuff onto your spoon and then THROW the shit into your bowl.

5. The vanilla now needs to be shamelessly drowned inside your thick, oxygen-lacking batter and stirred until it croaks and you cannot see it anymore.

6. Slowly murder those large quantities of flour by battering them, bit by bit, by whisk into the rest of the mixture. Your mix should now look like a very bad, very squishy batch of bread batter. Looks good on it!

7. Now, finally, place the chocolate shit over the mass like a shallow, quickly-made grave you're only using to cover the bloody mess up temporarily until some poor sap comes across it. Then mix the chocolate in!

You're done! All you need to do now is cook that mother in a square pan - or a round pan, if you like round squares - at 500 degrees for 20 minutes, or until the mess gets to its desired consistency. Sad your glorious massacre is over? While it is cooking, you can amuse yourself by taking one big spoon and crushing those strawberries in a bowl until they scream for their mommy and have been reduced to a sobbing, unrecognizable, semi-liquid blob.

You probably guessed this, but the strawberries are the "Bloody" part.

Once your gravesite gets out of the oven, all you do is smother it with the blob of strawberries, which will at once degrade the gravesite and burn whatever life is left out of those strawberries. NOW you're done! You've got yourself a batch of Bloody Demon Squares!



... Isn't that wonderful? Sure, his artistic streak is a bit... eh, morbid... but at least he has one! See, Hannibal? I told you he's not hopeless! Oh, I'm so proud of my Mikey!