It was slightly drizzling as Stephenie Meyer and her Chinese adopted daughter Sella Bwan rolled down the street. This wouldn't have been nearly as awkward as it was if they had actually been in their vehicle.
I saw them and I was all, "Whaaaaaaaaaaat?", so I went outside onto the porch and I said, "Mrs. Meyer! Are you all right? Don't you think you might catch the swine flu?"
"Sella has a fever!" shouted Meyer. "She is not okay! She probably already has the swine flu!"
And then as I watched, Sella Bwan actually stood up and started hyperventilating like Mary-Sue Vrees would if her poor sweet innocent dear child was run over by an eighteen-wheeler and then shot by a tank and then trumpled by five angry werewolves the size of cows, all of this in the slight drizzle.
They are still out there now. I just told Hannibal, who is not yet gone "to the casino", to please barricade the door. And now Michael is angry because he wanted to go to Wal-Mart. So I told him that if he gives me his mask, I will momentarily take the bars off his windows so that he may head on over to Wal-Mart in the slight drizzle.
As I look out the window, Johnny is screaming at the wok in the kitchen again, and I am not sure quite what the angry man expects the wok to do, but he sure is raging... and Stephenie Meyer just tackled Sella Bwan, screaming, "GET BACK ON THE ROAD AND ROLL."
So I told everyone to please stay inside.
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WTF. That Meyer has issues left right and center. Why hasn't she been thrown into like... an asylum or something yet?
ReplyDeleteIt should totally be illegal to raise a Chinese child as the worst Mary-Sue wannabe ever. Like. Really. It's not enough that she wrote a poor Sue-girl, she has to make one IRL too?
The world doesn't make sense anymore. Eff this ess-aytch-eye-tee. You know? Eff. This. S. H. I. T.
Well, I do believe that "Bella Swan" from her little infamous "Twilight" massacre was indeed based off of her Chinese child Sella Bwan. Although perhaps I am wrong about this, considering it was Jason Vrees that told me. Then again, he does lurk her web page quite frequently.
ReplyDeleteGertie, I love hearing about your life. I really do because it gives me the strength to live my life knowing that if you can go through this, anything is livable. However, I don't know about your neighbor. I would suggest you move to get away from her but I know how attached your family is to your house. Hopefully that Mrs Meyers can get some professional help soon and I hope that she doesn't rub off on any of your family. Take care.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I THOUGHT I had seen Mrs. Meyer rolling down the street, but I figured Sadako might have just been playing tricks on me again... Well, on one hand, it's nice to know that I wasn't just seeing things, but on the other hand... Mrs. Meyer really is strange. I feel bad for poor Sella.
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for Sella as well, Barb. It's really no wonder she has a diagnosed general anxiety disorder with hyperventilation problem. God, you know what I heard? She and C'Dward Eullen, that 16-year-old from three blocks down, are an item. Can you imagine if he were ever to break up with her? I'm pretty sure the poor dear would hyperventilate for about four months!
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