We made a song.

Me and Jason were extremely bored out of our wits (like my deceased grandmother would say) at his mom’s tiny-ass Christmas dinner (since she has no friends aside from my mom, who really just feels sorry for her. Really she doesn’t actually like her that much. Lol. Epic fail, Pam. BUT JASON AND I STILL LOVE YOU. EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE A NUTWENCH. :)), so we slipped away into the living room and decided to destroy “Santa Baby” and re-write the lyrics. Lol. So we did. And we are now going to share our masterpiece with you.

And before you say anything, I am getting grounded for like twenty years sometime today anyway, so I really don’t care that this is “horrible”. And neither does Jason, because he is a spoiled momma’s boy who never gets grounded, and also his mom does not even know the basics of how to get onto the Internet. So she’ll never see this anyway. So yeah. We don’t fcare. kthx.


“Santa Baby – the REAL version”
rectified by Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees

To the tune of “Santa Baby” by... that awkward female hooker “singer” with two ferrets up her nostrils, legit, whoever she is.

To be sung in the point of view of C’Dward Eullen.


Santa baby, just slip your fat ass under the tree
For me
Because I’ve always wanted a fat,
Old man to slide right down my chimney at night

Santa baby, you’ve got the cutest hat in the world
Yeah I’ve got
A little hat fetish here
Santa baby, just slide right down my chimney tonight

Think of all the joy you bring
To me, ‘cause I like fat guys in winter coats
It sucks I only see you once a year
That’s how long it takes to get your mind unblown

Santa baby, you’re carrying one hell of a stick
I like sticks
And furthermore I’m a hick
Santa baby, you sure you’ll fit in the chimney tonight?

Santa sweetpea, you picked a good gerontophile
To love
I’m shinin’ like the yellowest star
I don’t think you should eat all those damn cookies tonight

Santa sexy, you know I love you more than I should
Because
You have a lot of cash and I am
Pretty much the most h-core gold digger ever

Come fulfill my Christmas dreams
And by dreams I mean naughty fantasies
I really think you’re sexy shit
Do you think I look fat in this?

Santa baby... forgot to mention one little thing
Viagra
Because you’re gonna need it tonight
Santa baby, get your ass down my chimney right now

Get your ass down that chimney tonight!



Isn't that epic?